Sunday, December 02, 2012

Six-Sentence Sunday sample: Kissing client

Once again, my six-sentence sample this week is from my work-in-progress, a parody of Fifty Shades of Grey called One Shade of Red. My aim is to mirror this inexplicable bestseller, but have somewhat more believable characters and better writing.

The main character is Damian, a 20-year-old virgin who lacks self-confidence. He has been forced into a summer job as a pool cleaner in the wealthiest area of the city, and he’s having an impact on his clients that goes well beyond their pools.

In this excerpt, Damian has finished cleaning Mrs. Lobos’ pool on a very hot day, and she’s brought him a beer as a reward for a job well done. They’re sitting beside the pool.

"Do you always work with your shirt off?" she said, and I suddenly felt conscious of my bare chest.

"Just when it's this hot..."

I could not finish answering her because her mouth pressed against mine. Her tongue pushed into my mouth as her hands went around my shoulders. She pulled herself onto my lap as she ran her hands up and down my back.

From exploring my mouth with her tongue, she went to sucking my tongue into her mouth.

Creative Commons Licence: DavidMartynHunt - Steal a passionate kiss through Gap Daemon

What do you think? Leave a comment!

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