I can’t keep it in anymore: I’m completely grossed out by Charmin toilet paper’s ads.
You know them, the series featuring cute talking bears who use Charmin toilet paper to shit in the woods. (Bill Maher claims the current Pope really isn’t Catholic, so I guess Charmin completes the trope.)
The ad campaign was stupid enough when it claimed that Charmin didn’t break up and leave little bits of paper on your ass. I mean, beyond the fact that since bears don’t wear clothes and therefore probably wouldn’t be embarrassed about having paper on their backsides, how would any human ever know about toilet paper stuck to someone else’s ass?
That was creepy enough. But the latest goes well beyond it. In this one, Mama Bear brings in the newest “improved” Charmin, and Papa Bear goes absolutely ga-ga. But no, Mama won’t let him touch it.
For crying out loud, Mama Bear! Have sex with your husband once in a while so he has something to fantasize about besides toilet paper!
And Charmin: pull your heads out of your own asses.