6 Sentence Sunday: a sample from One Shade of Red

Image: Wikipedia Commons

Today's Six Sunday Sample is another from my National Novel Writing Month work-in-progress, One Shade of Red, a parody of (you guessed it!) Fifty Shades of Grey.

This excerpt comes from what's shaping up to be Chapter 7: The Dinner Date. It takes place in a high-end restaurant in downtown Toronto. The protagonist, Damian, is a student and has barely enough cash for the restaurant bill, but nothing left over for a tip.

The solution: hero and heroine do a dine-n-dash. Don't worry: Damian pays for the food, but leaves no tip.  



Peter Milosevic, Creative Commons



I slammed the door shut and started the car, revving the engine. It jolted as I shifted into forward and cranked the wheel hard to the left to pull out of the parking spot. The tires squealed as we lurched onto Elm Street.

"Careful!" Alexis squealed at the same pitch as the tires. "You don't want to attract the police's attention." But her hand was on my thigh already.

Like it? Hate it? Leave a comment. Then go to Six Sentence Sunday to see more great samples from some great writers.

Writing Tip: The Sentence, Part 1



Brain structure: emw/Creative Commons

 Lately, I’ve been reading a lot of work that shows severe problems with sentence structure. Whether in fiction or non-fiction, it’s almost as if the writers do not understand what a sentence is.

For example:

An analysis of survey results conducted by GHI concluded that different groups of consumers face different kinds of challenges, this includes unemployed and underemployed as well as low-income groups.

 Or the opposite problem, exemplified in this case in fiction:

The chattering of Will’s teeth, as loud as the cold north wind that blew down through mountains.

The problem in the first case is a comma splice: joining two separate sentences with a comma, rather than separating them with a period (or maybe a semi-colon).

Freeimages.co.uk

In the second example, the problem is an incomplete sentence. Something is missing — a verb. This is how a grammatically complete sentence would read:

The chattering of Will’s teeth was as loud as the cold north wind that blew down through mountains.

That’s not a particularly creative solution, but it’s correct.

Another example, with some light surgery to hide the actual source:

But back to the economy, all three projects expanded simultaneously and required capitalization, no wonder the organization’s bottom line was depleted.

The unit of expression

Think of the sentence as your basic unit of expression. A word may be a unit of meaning, but a single word by itself does not usually express an idea.


Back when I was in grade school, after cleaning the sabre-tooth tigers’ litter boxes, we all learned that a sentence expressed a single complete thought. To do that, it needs two elements: a verb or predicate — action — and a subject, which is usually a noun or a pronoun.

Creative Commons

The quick red fox jumps.

The action word, the verb, is “jumps.” “Fox,” of course, is the subject. The rest of the words describe the subject.

Sometimes, you don’t need the subject to be written out: “Duck!” The subject is “you, implied” — a concept that caused all sorts of confusion when I was in school.

That’s it: noun and verb. Other words just describe the subject or complete the action. End it with a period.

A wave of lust slammed into her body.

Just “lust slammed” would be a grammatically complete sentence.

The subject can also be a phrase or a clause: a group of words that function together as a noun.

Resisting the temptation to crush her body against his and tear off her clothes took all his willpower.

The subject in that example did not end until after “clothes.” (And “after clothes” is one of my favourite places.)

That’s all there is to it. To write clearly, write about something doing something.

Joining complete thoughts

To join two complete thoughts — sentences — you have to have the right kind of link. Usually, it’s not a period, but a word or a group of words. I won’t go into the formal grammatical expression here; if you read good writing, you’ll develop a sense of what “sounds” right.

Here are some examples of what not to do, and corrections. Again, these are taken from real sources, but doctored slightly so as to keep the guilty hidden until they can redeem their sins.

Run-on sentence

The run-on sentence happens when one complete idea follows another without any punctuation or joining phrases.

Image Wikipedia Commons

She got up and went into the bathroom and got a wet washrag and came back and laid it across her mother’s forehead.

There are more than one problem with this example. The succession of clauses joined by “and,” while grammatically correct, gets tedious. There’s also way too much detail. You don’t need to describe every single action: your reader can figure out the intervening actions.

She wet a rag in the bathroom and laid it across her mother’s forehead.

Not that I minded I can curse with the best of them, as you’ve probably noticed.

Not that I minded; I can curse with the best of them, as you’ve probably noticed.

Comma splice

Another common error is joining two related sentences with a comma instead of a semi-colon.

She took his hand again, “how are we going to keep them safe?” She whispered.

Again, there are more than one problem here:

She took his hand again. “How are we going to keep them safe?” she whispered.

“If we move quickly we could be off in front of the soldiers, we’ve got fast horses and money.”

“If we move quickly we could get ahead of the soldiers — we’ve got fast horses and money.”

“The horses need to rest tonight, so do we.” Gianni replied.

“The horses need to rest tonight, and so do we,” Gianni replied.
 

A matter of style?

Wikipedia Commons

Who cares, though? As long as the underlying meaning comes across, does grammar really matter?

Yes. First of all, using grammar correctly, especially such a basic concept as understanding what a complete sentence is, is a necessary but not sufficient indicator of professionalism. Whether you’re writing fiction, advertising or technical reports, if you don’t come across as professional, no one will take your document seriously. And if the audience doesn’t believe you, why bother writing?

Clarity is even more important. Consider this:

For hospitals seeking increased profitability in the operating room (OR) it is essential to streamline the movement of materials from suppliers to the hands of doctors efficiently acquiring and moving supplies critical to OR procedures are measurable ways to reduce costs, increase revenue capture, optimize labour and improve process management.

What’s efficient: doctors’ hands, or moving supplies?

When the subject is medical care, I think clarity is pretty darn important.

What do you think? Having trouble with sentences? Ask a question or leave a comment!

Fantastic Fantasy Freebies!

November 20 and 21 only: 

You can download four fantastic Guild of Dreams fantasy books for FREE!

THE BONES OF THE EARTH

By Scott Bury

The Dark Age, eastern Europe: the earth has decided to rid itself of humanity with earthquakes, volcanoes and new plagues. Civilizations, even the mighty Roman Empire, crumble under the pressure of barbarian waves that are fleeing worse terrors.

Rejected by his own people, pursued by a dragon, young Javor heads for Constantinople, the centre of civilization, looking for answers to the puzzle of his great-grandfather's dagger and the murder of his family.

On the ancient, crumbling Roman highway across haunted, deserted Dacia, Javor rescues the beautiful Danisa from a human sacrifice. He cannot help falling in love with her. But Danisa has her own plans, and when she is kidnapped again, Javor has to wonder: what is the connection between his dagger, his lover and his enemies?

Download FREE from Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/The-Bones-Earth-Dark-ebook/dp/B006PI0NRG/

  ALL WHO WANDER ARE LOST:

 An Icarus Fell Novel

 By Bruce A. Blake

Icarus Fell's life sucked. Then he died and things got really bad.

After muggers killed him, Icarus became a harvester, his job to help souls on their way to Heaven, and it turned out he possessed as little talent for this as he did for every other job he lost. People are dead. The deposed Angel of Death nearly took his teenage son. The Archangel Michael is angry with him and the police think he is a serial killer.

The only one left on his side is his guardian angel, but when he asks her to help him get to Hell to rescue the souls wrongly condemned because of him, she refuses to go against Michael's wishes.

Then another guardian shows up. Piper is beautiful, mysterious, and willing to help. Having her around turns Icarus' afterlife upside down. But knowing how to get to Hell is only half of the problem.

Getting back with your soul is the real challenge.

Get All Who Wander Are Lost for free from Amazon.

BLOOD SKIES (Book 1)

by Steven Montano

Free on Smashwords through November 25th!

In the time after The Black, human survivors of the Southern Claw Alliance clash with vampire legions of the Ebon Cities in a constant war for survival. Earth as we know it has been forever damaged by an arcane storm that fused our world with distant realms of madness and terror. Things that once existed only in our nightmares stalk the earth.

Now, humanity is threatened by one of its own.

Eric Cross, an enlisted warlock in the Southern Claw military, is part of an elite team of soldiers and mages in pursuit of a woman known as Red — a witch whose stolen knowledge threatens the future of the human race. The members of Viper Squad will traverse haunted forests and blighted tundra in their search for the traitor, a journey that ultimately leads them to the necropolis of Koth.

There, in that haven of renegade undead, Cross will discover the dark origins of magic, and the true meaning of sacrifice...

Experience a dark and deadly new world in the debut novel of the "Blood Skies" series from author Steven Montano.

Get Blood Skies for free at Smashwords http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/64748

Enter Coupon Code: EL47N in the Shopping Cart.

 

 BORN OF WATER

By Autumn M. Birt

In the buried archives of the Temple of Dust may lie the secret to defeating the Curse, a creature which seeks to destroy 16 year old Ria for the forbidden gifts she possesses. But it is from among the ranks of those who control the Curse where Ria will find her best chance of success. Only the Priestess Niri can save Ria from the forces that hunt her, if Niri doesn’t betray the girl first. Along with Ria comes Ty and his sister, Lavinia, both bound to defend Ria from the Church of Four Orders and Niri, if they must. However, Ty has been living a life less than honest and keeping it from his sister. To survive a journey that takes them across the breadth of their world, the four must learn to trust each other before pursuit from the Church and Ty’s troubled past find them.

Download Born of Water for free from Smashwords at http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/220915

Enter Coupon Code SQ46H in the Shopping Cart.

Or from Amazon.

What is style? An interview with Charity Parkerson

How important is writing style? And just what is it, anyway — what makes up an author’s style? Can an author truly be unique?

This week, Written Words has invited Charity Parkerson, author of paranormal romance and erotica, to tell us her thoughts on writer’s style. Read what she has to say, and then check out her work.

How would you describe your own writing style?

Erotic with a southern twist.

Are there any authors whose style you admire? Do you try to emulate them?

I really like Julie Garwood. She does a great job of mixing humor with suspense and since I’m hilarious (in my own mind) I try to add a bit of humor to my books, as well.

Are there authors whose writing style you dislike?

I love Jennifer Wilde and have read all of her books. However, I can’t stand her descriptive writing style. She can weave the most wonderful and engaging stories, but I find myself skipping over the three-page descriptions of someone’s dress.

How important is your writing style to you? Are you happy with your style, or are there aspects of it you try to change during rewriting or editing?

When I first started out, I had several people tell me that I would run into trouble with reviewers because my characters have southern accents. I refused to remove it, since my books are set in the South, and it made sense that their speech would reflect that. I have run into a couple of reviews that mention it, but for the most part readers have been fine with it, and I’m glad that I did not allow anyone to talk me out of writing my own voice out of my stories.

What are the important elements of your style? What are you trying to achieve?

In erotica, I think that one of the most important elements is the ability to create a scene that is relatable but is still hot. I want to paint a picture with words that the reader can see, hear, and taste as if they are there.

How can readers identify your writing style? Are there particular words or kinds of words that you tend to favour? Sentence structures? Or is it more in the story, the pacing or the characters?

My characters tend to be a little on the dark side. It’s rare that I write a perfect character. I want people to cheer for someone that they never thought they could.

Do you think your genre imposes certain restrictions on writing style?

I write in several genres, but I do think that erotica is the most restrictive. Most people would think that it is the least. However, several times I have sent a story to my editor believing that I’ve finished the world’s hottest erotic novel, only to learn it is classified as steamy romance. You’re expected to use words that shock people into letting down their natural prude filter.

Do you think your audience responds to your writing style, consciously or unconsciously?

I hope it’s an unconscious reaction to a great read. :-D

How important do you think writing style is to an author's commercial success?

It’s very important if you also factor in who you are pitching yourself to.

Thank you, Charity.

Charity Parkerson made the bestseller list with her book A Secure Heart. Her paranormal Sinners series was voted as one of the top ten "Best books by an Indie author in 2011." Her Sexy Witches series blends paranormal, romance and erotica. She is also one of the Four Whips, a collective of authors who have recently published the erotic short-story collection Turkey Slap 2012.

Charity's newest book is A Splash of Hope, available from Amazon.

She is a member of The Paranormal Romance Guild, Coffee Time Romance, and Long and Short Romance Reviews. She is also a Goodreads moderator and a Library Thing author.

Visit her site at www.charityparkerson.com, and read her blog at charity-thesinners.blogspot.com.

You can like her at Facebook.com/authorCharityParkerson. You can follow her on Twitter @CharityParkerso.

6 Sentence Sunday: More from One Shade of Red

This week's sample are six more sentences from my National Novel Writing Month work-in-progress, One Shade of Red. As you've probably guessed, it's a parody of the inexplicable best-seller, Fifty Shades of Grey.

The action in this excerpt follows the six sentences from two weeks ago.

I couldn’t look at the pool, because I couldn’t stop looking at her. I felt like I was in junior high again. The only word that came into my mind was: stacked. There were acres of bare skin. The bathing suit barely covered her nipples and pubis, but none of those words made it into my mind at that moment.

She looked at me, eyebrows raised, and I realized that she was waiting for me to say something.

 

Like it? Hate it? Think the whole idea is ill-advised? Can't wait to read it? Leave a comment!

Six Sentence Sunday is a continuing blog hop; authors who have blogs post six-sentence excerpts from their published works or their works-in-progress on Sunday morning, and list the link on the Six Sentence Sunday website. Check it out — there are a lot of excellent writers promoting some fine work. 

By the way, I really enjoyed doing the photo research for this post. Try Googling "red string bikini" yourself someday.

The Next Big Thing: One Shade of Red

Photo by Paloetic. Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 License.

Autumn Birt, traveler, travel writer and blogger, has tagged me for The Next Big Thing blog hop. She, herself, was tagged by fantasy author Bruce Blake, whom regular readers of Written Words will remember for his guest post on style.

The idea behind the Next Big Thing is to answer a set list of questions about your work in progress, then tag five more authors to do the same thing.

So, here are my answers about my Next Big Thing:

What is the working title of your book?

One Shade of Red.

Where did the idea come from for the book?

As you probably guessed, it’s a parody of the best-seller, Fifty Shades of Gray.

I first heard about the book last spring, when it was causing a stir in the mainstream media. I bought a copy for my wife, who read it and declared it terrible. She read it during our summer vacation by the coast, and repeatedly shook her head or moaned in literary disgust (at least, that’s why she told me she was moaning). 

A lady on the sun chair next to her one day noticed her reading the book. “What did you think of it?” she asked. 

“I think it’s terrible. Bad writing, and the characters are ridiculous,” my wife replied. “Did you read it?”

“It was the worst book I ever read!” said our new friend.

I read and heard several other reviews, as well. Obviously, millions of fans all around the world love the story. But most of the professional reviews I read or heard were very negative. They criticized the author’s writing abilities, the style of the book and the characterization. 

I had to read it, myself, just to see how I fell on the reaction spectrum. To me, it’s ridiculous, too. Christian Grey, a 27-year-old self-made billionaire? It doesn’t happen very often. Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, a couple of others. But they’re never super-hunks at the same time.

And Anastasia Steele, the 22-year-old virgin? Come on.

The names are preposterous, too. 

And of course, those ideas eventually led to the conclusion: I could write a much better erotic romance.

What genre does your book fall under?

You could call it a satirical, humorous erotic romance. Or a romantic, erotic parody. Or pseudo-romantic, satirical erotica.

Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

Do I have to tell you this is Beyoncé?

Beyoncé Knowles as Alexis Rosse; for the male protagonist, Damian Serr, maybe Angus T. Young — Jake from Two and a Half Men. Alternatives: Aarti Mann (Pria from The Big Bang Theory), or Eva Green for Alexis; Abhi Sinha from The Social Network would be good, too, for Damian. A younger, goofy kind of guy would be perfect.

What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

Where Fifty Shades of Grey is a woman’s ultimate sexual fantasy — domination by a fabulously wealthy,beautiful and sexually powerful young man with a dark flaw she can fix — One Shade of Red is every young heterosexual man’s ultimate sexual fantasy: a rich, gorgeous and sexually always available woman without any inhibitions or baggage, or anything at all to fix!

Aarti Mann

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

I will publish this book myself, as I have all my other fiction.

How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

I’m now working on it as my National Novel Writing Month (NaNoMo) project for 2012, so while I got the idea for it a few months ago, I started actually writing on November 1. I plan to finish no later than November 30.

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

Fifty Shades, first. After that, I don’t know — I don’t read much erotica. Maybe I should start — purely for research purposes, of course!

Who or what inspired you to write this book?

Angus T. Jones

As I explained above: I thought I could do much better at erotica than EL James. As far as I can tell, her premise is that women love sex, and a little bit of BDSM is fun; and the sexiest imaginable man is a handsome, thin, in-shape and immeasurably wealthy man with a deep, dark secret flaw that only she can fix. Women love to fix men, it seems.

I flipped that premise upside down: what qualities would a young virginal man find ideal in an older lover? She (if the man in question is heterosexual) would be:

• beautiful
• continuously eager for sex

• 

  Eva Green

  completely uninhibited about any sexual practice, position or conversation
• wealthy, so she can provide lots of toys and activities without affecting his bank account
• and having absolutely no hang-ups or deep-down secrets — in other words, nothing to fix!

What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

If I may be so bold (this is my blog, after all), I think that I am a much better writer than EL James. So my characters will be much more believable, their circumstances more plausible, and their motivations clearer. Also, I promise not to give my male protagonist, Damian Serr, an “inner god.”

However, I will give them names as preposterous as EL James gave her characters.

What else? Sex. Lots and lots and lots of sex in this book. When you read it, keep a glass of ice water handy.

Autumn Birt’s first novel is called Born of Water, and her Next Big Thing is Rule of Fire. Read about them on blog, Weifarer’s Wanderings. Click around her blog a bit, too, and you’ll find lots of great reading and adventure!

Now, the five authors I have tagged are:

• Gary Henry
• Roger Eschbacher
• Thomas L. Scott
• SL Pierce
• and Will Granger.

Check their blogs next Wednesday, November 21.

Telling Tale Tales — lots of them

Kathy Lynn Hall on Style interviews

Writing style can vary widely over time and around the world. Like many readers, I can almost hear a particular “voice” when I read a British author as compared to an American writer. And who could argue that Dickens and other 19th-century authors had a style distinct from today’s prevailing style?

It seems to me that commercial fiction publishers are imposing a style. Can you distinguish Dan Brown’s style from Tom Clancy’s? EL James from J. Sterling’s?

It’s so refreshing to read an author like Kathy Lynn Hall, whose writing style is fearlessly her own. You probably already know her for Red Mojo Mama and its sequel, Red is an Attitude!, as well as The Great Twitter Adventure and other books, as well.

Kathy, how would you describe your own writing style?

Folksy — it took me a long time to find my “voice” and once I did I realized that it’s very earthy and one-on-one. I think I would have been one of those people sitting around the pickle barrel, telling tall tales in the old days.

Are there any authors whose style you admire? Do you try to emulate them?

I absolutely love Agatha Christie and Jodi Picoult, but can’t begin to write like either one of them. The only thing I think I can imitate is the way a story is woven. I often think of this as a pinball machine — anyone remember those? — when the ball starts down the chute and you’re madly trying to use the flippers to keep it pinging off all the little thingies. You keep trying to go back to the high pointers, sometimes failing, but sometimes you hit it big and everything lights up. That’s what a writer lives for.

Are there authors whose writing style you dislike?

No particular authors, but if a story is bereft of heart, I’m really not interested and quickly lose interest. If it’s all action and no character-building or interactions, I just stop reading it.


How important is your writing style to you? Are you happy with your style, or are there aspects of it you try to change during rewriting or editing?

I have grown to really like my style. I’ll never be the Great American Novelist and that’s okay with me. If I can make a reader love my characters and care about them, then I’m happy. The one thing I have to watch out for is my tendency to be too concise and leave out description. I started out as a screenwriter and that’s ALL dialog, so I have to curb those tendencies.

How can readers identify your writing style? Are there particular words or kinds of words that you tend to favour? Sentence structures? Or is it more in the story, the pacing or the characters?

It’s definitely the characters and what they say and do to each other. I could have written Castaway — the film — because my character would have invented Wilson, too.

Do you think your genre imposes certain restrictions on writing style?

Absolutely — I think any genre does that. My “Red” novels are romantic suspense, which demands that there be enough romance, but not so much that it becomes a romance novel, and enough action to keep you hopping. The current novel I’m working on is a political thriller and I’m stepping outside my comfort zone a bit to insert enough action.

Do you think your audience responds to your writing style, consciously or unconsciously?

With any author, I think the reader responds unconsciously at first, but eventually how you are writing rises to the surface and they begin to recognize what they like about the way you write. Or maybe what they don’t like.

How important do you think writing style is to an author's commercial success?

It’s everything. Almost, anyway. Style can overcome a lot. Sure, you must have a great story and characters, but if your style is clumsy or tough to read, you’ve lost the reader before they even get that far.

Thanks for the opportunity to do this interview, Scott. I enjoyed it.

And thank you, Kathy, for your insight.


Kathy Lynn Hall is author of the novels Red Mojo Mama, Red is an Attitude and The Great Twitter Adventure, the short-story collection Her Heart, the autobiographical collection of musings entitled Tell Them You’re Fabulous and the social media guidebook Blog & Tweet — How to Make a Splash Online.

She’s also a prolific blogger, maintaining seven (!) blogs simultaneously, while participating in others’ blogs, Twitter, Facebook and more. And somehow, she manages to do a whack of charity work and respond to pesky interviewers.

Check out her blogs:

• Fabulous For Less
• Live Young Die Old
• Red Mojo Mama Musings
• In the Writing Groove
• Sacramentoandbey...
• Kat's Dream World
• Life Lessons Volume One

What do you think about Kathy's comments about writing style? Leave a comment.

In memory

6-Sentence Remembrance Day

Photo used under Creative Commons from dougbelshaw

Today is Remembrance Day, also known as Veteran's Day in the US, and Armistice Day in the UK and elsewhere.

In honour of the day and the men and women who have served or suffered in war, my six sentences today are from another work in progress. Tentatively called Walking from the Soviet Union, it's the story of my father-in-law, Maurice, who was drafted into the Soviet Red Army just before Nazi Germany attacked in June 1941. A lieutenant, he commanded 12 men in an anti-tank unit. He was captured near Kharkiv, Ukraine in September, along with thousands of other troops.

This excerpt deals with his imprisonment in the POW camp called Coal Mountain.

Maurice dropped his sledgehammer and joined the lineup for supper. The sun was already down and the air was chill, but no one had enough energy to complain. They shuffled to a Luftwaffe private ladling soup from a barrel into small metal bowls. No bread, just  what the Germans called soup for the prisoners on the eastern front: fish heads floating in water. The Nazis gave the British and French prisoners on the western front twice the amount of calories daily, compared to the starvation rations for the untermenschen, the sub-human Slavs.

For more six-sentence samples, visit SixSunday.com.

What is writing style? Guest post by Bruce Blake

What is writing style? How important is it to readers? To writers? To a writer’s success?

I am asking authors for their thoughts on these questions.

Bruce Blake is author of the best-selling fantasy/horror novels On Unfaithful Wings and All Who Wander are Lost and founder of the Guild of Dreams fantasy writers’ collective. His latest novel is the epic fantasy Blood of the King, all available on Amazon.

Bruce, how would you describe your own writing style?

I am a big believer in Elmore Leonard's 10 Rules of Good Writing. If anyone's not familiar, included amongst these are: avoid detailed descriptions of characters, don't go into great detail describing places and things, and try to leave out the part that readers tend to skip. Those are the big three for me. I try not to waste any words. I'm a fan of many authors who are well known for their detailed descriptions (George R.R. Martin, China Mieville, etc.), but that's just not my style. I try to make every word count and use as few of them as possible. Short sentences, sharp dialogue, and I'm not afraid to throw out the odd fragment here and there.

Are there any authors whose style you admire? Do you try to emulate them?

I admire a lot of authors whose styles differ from mine and I would never attempt to emulate, like those I mentioned above, and J.R.R. Tolkien (I've often wondered how my style would be if I changed my name to Bruce R.R. Blake). I don't really try to emulate anyone, but I've been compared to Jim Butcher (I've only read one of his books) and Mike Carey. If I had to pick one novel in which the style particularly impressed me, it would have to be The Road by Cormac McCarthy. Never have sentence fragments been so powerful.

Are there authors whose writing style you dislike?

I think dislike is a strong word; there is something to take away from any writer's style. Having said that, I'm not a fan of writing that is more about the writing than it is about the characters and their story, though most writers who choose that style are far more talented than I can ever hope to be.

How important is your writing style to you? Are you happy with your style, or are there aspects of it you try to change during rewriting or editing?

I'm pretty happy with my style but, like everyone, I'm always striving to improve. Things definitely change during the rewriting and editing; that's when my style really emerges. I'm not a writer who will ever publish something as it came out during the first draft, nor will I usually even consider showing it to someone who has the ability to read. Too often, my first drafts end up being information dumps that need to be molded into shape. Sometimes they read like I was taking point-form notes during a lecture instead of writing a novel. My latest book, Blood of the King, went through about 12 drafts.

How can readers identify your writing style? Are there particular words or kinds of words that you tend to favour? Sentence structures? Or is it more in the story, the pacing or the characters?

Again, my style tends to be succinct. I pay attention to the lengths of my sentences and try to use them for maximum impact; it's not unusual for me to have sentences of only a couple of words or a paragraph that is only one word. I'm also conscious of word choices. I have a list I call “Bruce's Bad Words” that I try to weed out of my novels. It naturally includes words that signify passive constructs—like was, were and had—but it also includes words I use habitually (glance, something, moment) and what I call wishy-washy words (almost, barely, nearly). Ideally, I hope its the story, pacing and characters that help readers identify my writing. I think a truly good style should be close to invisible to any reader who is not looking for it.

Do you think your genre imposes certain restrictions on writing style?

I began writing that certain sub-genres of fantasy have requirements of style, but I did a rewrite, because that is not true. I think style is always open, but genre can impose certain tones or voices on a writer. Epic fantasy demands a different tone than urban fantasy, for instance, though the things that make up style—sentence lengths, dialogue, pacing, etc.—can remain essentially the same.

Do you think your audience responds to your writing style, consciously or unconsciously?

Yes, I do. I think that style is the thing that most readers respond to in genre writing, whether they can put their finger on what that style is or not. As I said, my goal is that my readers aren't even conscious of my style. I want it to be out of the way so my readers can concentrate on the characters and the story, not be distracted by how I tell it.

How important do you think writing style is to an author's commercial success?

Style is essential. It's what makes a novel walk and talk. A great story with interesting characters is still a laborious read when poorly written. Pacing, tone, voice, structure; all these things contribute to a reader's enjoyment of a book, and these are the elements of style (my apologies to Mr. Strunk and Mr. White). If you take a look through the one and two star reviews of any book on Amazon, you will find many “it would have been a great story if it was written by someone else” comments. If I use my magic decoder ring on that phrase, it says: “I didn't like the writer's style.”

Thank you, Bruce.

Bruce's blog is The Thoughts and Opinions of a Writer on the Rise. He is also the founder of the Guild of Dreams fantasy writers' collective. On The Guild of Dreams blog, Guild members take turns posting very interesting ideas, opinions, interviews, excerpts and lots of other stuff.

You can find Bruce’s books, The Blood of the King, All Who Wander are Lost and On Unfaithful Wings on Amazon.

6 Sentence Sunday to Start NaNoWriMo

Image: Creative Commons

My calendar appears faulty: it doesn't show Movember, nor NaNoWriMo. And the daily entry stubbornly displays a simple "Sunday," not “Six Sentence Sunday.”


Movember, as many of you know, is that thirty-day period between Hallowe’en and the beginning of December when men around the world grow ’staches to raise awareness of prostate cancer — and sometimes money, too. (I observe and celebrate Movember all year round.)

And is there a reader who has not heard of National Novel Writing Month, variously abbreviated as NaNoMo and NaNoWriMo? The idea is that you write a novel-length story, 50,000 words, through the same period as Movember. That’s 1,666.66 words per day. It’s a great device for getting past all the procrastination and excuses and just getting that novel done.

And of course, Six-Sentence Sunday is that tradition begun by author Sara Brookes where writers post six consecutive sentences from a published novel or work in progress onto their blog on Sunday mornings. Participants list their blog links on the 6 Sentence Sunday website. The site now posts close to 200 participants every week. It’s a great way to find new authors, and new readers — particularly those of you reading this right now who got here from that site.

As regular Written Words readers will know, I like to mash ideas together. Today, I’m combining Six Sentence Sunday, NaNoMo and the latest Written Words series on style, and presenting six sentences from my latest WIP, One Shade of Red.

Yes, you guessed right: it’s a parody of the clumsy best-seller, Fifty Shades of Gray. EL James wrote the modern woman’s sexual fantasy; just for fun, I’m going to present the modern Western man’s ultimate fantasy woman in the form of Alexis Rosse.

Don’t worry, I didn’t forget Movember: I’m writing wearing nothing but my moustache.

For my first six-sentence excerpt from this work, I present my parody on the scene in Fifty Shades where the heroine, the absurdly named Anastasia Steele, falls into the office of the equally unbelievably named Christian Grey:

The canvas bag, loaded with accessories and supplies, vomited all over the stone walk. The aluminum pole hit the ground and bounced up, smacking me in the face as I went down. I barely got one hand under my face before it hit the stone, too.

“Oh, dear! Are you all right?” said the musical voice — nothing like the buzzy squawk from the speaker by the front door.

I craned my head up. She was a dream —my dream.

Like it? Hate it? Leave a comment below, then go visit sixsunday.com for more samples!