Six-Sentence Sunday sample: Kissing client

Once again, my six-sentence sample this week is from my work-in-progress, a parody of Fifty Shades of Grey called One Shade of Red. My aim is to mirror this inexplicable bestseller, but have somewhat more believable characters and better writing.

The main character is Damian, a 20-year-old virgin who lacks self-confidence. He has been forced into a summer job as a pool cleaner in the wealthiest area of the city, and he’s having an impact on his clients that goes well beyond their pools.

In this excerpt, Damian has finished cleaning Mrs. Lobos’ pool on a very hot day, and she’s brought him a beer as a reward for a job well done. They’re sitting beside the pool.

"Do you always work with your shirt off?" she said, and I suddenly felt conscious of my bare chest.

"Just when it's this hot..."

I could not finish answering her because her mouth pressed against mine. Her tongue pushed into my mouth as her hands went around my shoulders. She pulled herself onto my lap as she ran her hands up and down my back.


From exploring my mouth with her tongue, she went to sucking my tongue into her mouth.



Creative Commons Licence: DavidMartynHunt - Steal a passionate kiss through Gap Daemon

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6 Sentence Sunday: a sample from One Shade of Red

Image: Wikipedia Commons

Today's Six Sunday Sample is another from my National Novel Writing Month work-in-progress, One Shade of Red, a parody of (you guessed it!) Fifty Shades of Grey.

This excerpt comes from what's shaping up to be Chapter 7: The Dinner Date. It takes place in a high-end restaurant in downtown Toronto. The protagonist, Damian, is a student and has barely enough cash for the restaurant bill, but nothing left over for a tip.

The solution: hero and heroine do a dine-n-dash. Don't worry: Damian pays for the food, but leaves no tip.  



Peter Milosevic, Creative Commons



I slammed the door shut and started the car, revving the engine. It jolted as I shifted into forward and cranked the wheel hard to the left to pull out of the parking spot. The tires squealed as we lurched onto Elm Street.

"Careful!" Alexis squealed at the same pitch as the tires. "You don't want to attract the police's attention." But her hand was on my thigh already.

Like it? Hate it? Leave a comment. Then go to Six Sentence Sunday to see more great samples from some great writers.

6 Sentence Sunday to Start NaNoWriMo

Image: Creative Commons

My calendar appears faulty: it doesn't show Movember, nor NaNoWriMo. And the daily entry stubbornly displays a simple "Sunday," not “Six Sentence Sunday.”


Movember, as many of you know, is that thirty-day period between Hallowe’en and the beginning of December when men around the world grow ’staches to raise awareness of prostate cancer — and sometimes money, too. (I observe and celebrate Movember all year round.)

And is there a reader who has not heard of National Novel Writing Month, variously abbreviated as NaNoMo and NaNoWriMo? The idea is that you write a novel-length story, 50,000 words, through the same period as Movember. That’s 1,666.66 words per day. It’s a great device for getting past all the procrastination and excuses and just getting that novel done.

And of course, Six-Sentence Sunday is that tradition begun by author Sara Brookes where writers post six consecutive sentences from a published novel or work in progress onto their blog on Sunday mornings. Participants list their blog links on the 6 Sentence Sunday website. The site now posts close to 200 participants every week. It’s a great way to find new authors, and new readers — particularly those of you reading this right now who got here from that site.

As regular Written Words readers will know, I like to mash ideas together. Today, I’m combining Six Sentence Sunday, NaNoMo and the latest Written Words series on style, and presenting six sentences from my latest WIP, One Shade of Red.

Yes, you guessed right: it’s a parody of the clumsy best-seller, Fifty Shades of Gray. EL James wrote the modern woman’s sexual fantasy; just for fun, I’m going to present the modern Western man’s ultimate fantasy woman in the form of Alexis Rosse.

Don’t worry, I didn’t forget Movember: I’m writing wearing nothing but my moustache.

For my first six-sentence excerpt from this work, I present my parody on the scene in Fifty Shades where the heroine, the absurdly named Anastasia Steele, falls into the office of the equally unbelievably named Christian Grey:

The canvas bag, loaded with accessories and supplies, vomited all over the stone walk. The aluminum pole hit the ground and bounced up, smacking me in the face as I went down. I barely got one hand under my face before it hit the stone, too.

“Oh, dear! Are you all right?” said the musical voice — nothing like the buzzy squawk from the speaker by the front door.

I craned my head up. She was a dream —my dream.

Like it? Hate it? Leave a comment below, then go visit sixsunday.com for more samples!

6 Sentence Sunday Hallowe’en treat, part 3:

Howling wind, howling wolves

It’s the third Sunday in October, so it’s time for another Hallowe’en treat from Written Words.

Here are six more sentences from a spooky passage in Part 1 of The Bones of the Earth. The setting: nighttime, three days past the summer solstice and three nights past the full moon. The main character, Javor (pronounced “Yay-vor,” by the way; it means maple) is in his village’s holody, or wooden stockade at the top of a small hill.

Wolves howling brought Javor back to the night. The moon and stars were quickly covered by swirling black clouds. Clouds never move that fast, he thought.

The villagers stopped talking; mothers held their children closer. The wind blew dust around the holody.

Javor stood and looked over the stockade—even the trees in the forest seemed to have come closer.

If you want to find out what’s past the stockade, you can get a longer sample from the Sample tab at the top of the page. And if you really want to know the story, get the full book from Amazon. Just click on the cover image on the right!

For more great six-sentence samples, visit Six Sentence Sunday.com. And leave comments — not just for my blog, but on every one that you visit today!